You know how some people walk calmly into a patient’s room, realize what needs to be done, and usually make all the right comments? Years ago, I was not that person. I didn’t really feel comfortable visiting sick people, and a career in the healthcare field was not appealing. Unlike many hospice volunteers, my motivation had no connection with hospice experiences of loved ones or anyone close to me dying, although I had experienced the latter several times. Wearing a full-body disguise, hospice volunteering crept up on me unannounced and unnoticed.

I was principal of a Detroit, Michigan public school located in an area of high poverty, crime, and homelessness. In spite of many concerns clamoring for space on my crowded plate, I felt right at home. However, over a three-year period during the 1990’s, I was thrust into life-threatening dilemmas of two gay men I hardly knew. In their 30’s and 40’s, both were suffering with AIDS, an infectious disease of the immune system caused by the HIV virus. They were my unsolicited introductions to care of the terminally ill.

Although Jake, the first man, had been medically diagnosed, he was still in total denial about his condition. During our conversations, he also appeared to have a form of dementia that included horrific harassment by invisible people who stalked him constantly. In a healthcare system he clearly could not negotiate on his own and with dismal family support, I became his navigator. I persuaded him and his unseen tormenters to pile into my compact car, buckle up, and let me drive them to get Jake ongoing medical treatment. Within weeks, he was hospitalized and later placed in a secluded area of a nursing home. After he died, I sighed, thinking I would never have an experience like that again.

I was wrong. About a year later, a crying man named Sam in a class I was taking shared with me his frightening secret. Like Jake, he also had AIDS and lacked a strong support system. How could this be happening to me again? Having help was crucial during these years when infected people were criticized, demonized, ostracized, and dying in epidemic proportions. Even my mother warned me to stay away from them or I might “catch” it. But I served as his hospice volunteer just as I had done with Jake and without realizing I was one. I did what needed to be done, and we all benefited. They had me to encourage them and improve their illness journeys. I learned important healthcare information and discovered significant layers of myself.

After my involvement with the men ended, I met a friend I had not seen in a while. She mentioned that she had become a hospice volunteer. Her description of what she did sounded very familiar. A few weeks later, I happened to see a newspaper ad about hospice volunteer training classes. I decided to get certified to do what I had already been doing and become even more prepared in case somebody else terminally ill came into my life. Through the years, terminally ill people have come as patients assigned to me in various nursing homes with worlds of compelling challenges, satisfying rewards, and captivating stories.

As part of my advocacy for patients beyond bedside care, I have written my experiences and insights in a groundbreaking book titled Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes that includes the often-missing voices of the urban dying, particularly people of color. I also blog at Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog and do eldercare writing, consulting, public speaking, and workshops relating to older adults in general.

Millions of diverse and aging baby boomers with end-of-life issues are swelling the ranks of our healthcare system. More volunteers are needed to dig into wells of themselves and provide effective solutions for this rapidly growing population. Consider becoming a hospice volunteer yourself. Varied assignments for both the young and old can accommodate personal comfort levels. In addition to patient care in healthcare institutions, there are assignments in patients’ homes, pet therapy, hospice offices, fundraising, community education, bereavement, and more. Perhaps you have a talent you can share. Your presence and support are what matter most.

Providing end-of-life service is a privilege, not a calling to be a savior for others. When approached in the right manner, hospice volunteering can be a series of win-win opportunities. That’s how good service works. Take the chance. Choose an amazing and fulfilling healthcare adventure that may feel like it’s really choosing you. It is. Hospice volunteer? Yes, I am!

Dedicated hospice volunteers everywhere enhance quality of life during patients’ final days. This video poem titled “Reflections of a Hospice Volunteer” expresses the win-win experiences of many volunteers:

Frances Shani Parker is an eldercare consultant, award-winning writer, and former public school principal. A hospice volunteer many years in Detroit, Michigan nursing homes, she is author of Becoming ll.Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes. She also writes Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog. Visit her in cyberspace at http://www.francesshaniparker.com/.